The worst baby shower EVER

Before Saturday I had never thrown a baby shower, and after Saturday, I’m not sure I ever want to do it again. I have a lot to say about the subject, so read on if you’d like to participate in/be subjected to my bitchy ranting.

First of all, what part of RSVP do people not understand? Wait, I can’t really say it like that, because I actually don’t know what the acronym RSVP stands for. Oh! Google just told me, and it’s French, that’s interesting. Ok, back to my point. It absolutely boggles my mind that there are so many rude people out there who choose to simply ignore that little tidbit on an invitation. So for the last few weeks I have been stressing because a total of 5 people had formally RSVP’d, and as of Saturday morning, the list of attendees was at about 9 people, which included me, my cousin/co-host and her daughter, and the guest-of-honor, my cousin Kathy. Did I mention that she was driving about 6 1/2 hours from Chicago for this shower? I was so terrified that the party was going to be a complete bust, we had so many games planned and delicious food prepared, and about 5 people who actually told us they would be there.

So it’s nearing 2:00 PM, when the party is to start, and the guests start arriving. A LOT of guests start arriving. Being that I have an extreme Type A personality, I was sort of freaking out. I had prepared all my cute games for 15 people, thinking that was safe since it was about 6 more people than I was expecting, I hadn’t set out nearly enough chairs, and there would be just barely enough of my beautiful fruit pizza for everyone to have one piece. And there was no way in hell that little bowl of punch was lasting all afternoon, certainly not, given the fact that two of the ladies who unexpectedly showed up each brought along with them two daughters roughly between the ages of 9 and 12. I still can’t believe that, my blood pressure is rising just thinking back on it. Those little brats were guzzling down that punch like they were starving Ethiopian children who had never seen the stuff before.

Oh and Kathy’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law showed up 2 hours late to the party, and had with them the sister’s husband and their 11 year old son who insisted on playing “Baby Price-is-Right” with us and cornering my poor little pup under the dining room table. The party was just pure chaos. I can’t forget to mention that, of course, all those little girls won like every single game and got to choose between prizes like coffee mugs, cheese plates, and fall candy dishes. Ugh. Hopefully their mothers at least took that as a sign that this was not a children’s party and they were greatly in the wrong for bringing them without asking.

I read online that a baby shower should last roughly two hours or so. Well, I think the last guests finally left a little before 7:00 PM. Yes, you read that right, the party lasted FIVE HOURS!

I swear to God, no more baby showers for me.