Victory

I will come out and say it, I am really glad this month is over.  While blogging everyday certainly can be rewarding, I love that I've captured pieces of pretty much every day this month, and I love the connections I've made with other women through their comments and just generally being more committed myself to commenting elsewhere... still, it hasn't come without its challenges.

I've found that I usually don't have the time to blog until after the kids are in bed, and some nights that is really late, depending on whether or not Gus has napped.

The thing is, that precious little time after bedtime and after the house has been picked up and the dishwasher has been ran, well it's the only real time I have to relax.  Quite literally, some days it's the first moment all day that I am truly able to SIT DOWN for more than five minutes.  Not to say blogging isn't relaxing, or cathartic, it is.  But when it feels like a chore because you HAVE to do it and you really don't WANT to do it it's not all that fun or relaxing.

Also, and this is a biggie, the evenings are when Dan and I can talk, and I've spent the better part of the last month ignoring him while he sits next to me on the couch.

Okay, this has to be one of my biggest annoyances of life with a 3 year-old.  He is just so demanding of our attention and some days it truly feels like there is no break.  We are always on duty.  A great example of this occurred one night about a month ago when Dan came home from work and we were trying to discuss ordering doors for our porch remodel (yes, I know, DOORS, such a thrilling conversation), and seriously, the kids were going CRAZY after just a few minutes.  Gus kept acting out, throwing toys, getting more and more amped up, clearly in an effort to get our attention.  And I realize, there are better times to talk about things like doors and remodeling projects than when Dan has just walked in the door and the kids are excited to see him and looking to make a connection with him, and blah blah blah.  I know all that, but it can just be so frustrating that we can't necessarily talk to each other freely when we're both sitting in the same room.      

We made the grave mistake of taking out the laptop so I could show Dan an example of something I was envisioning, and then that turned into more requests, more whining, more climbing all over us, "I want to play Curious George games.  Curious George games!!  Curious George games! Please mommy, please!?"  And then he was climbing all over us, trying to press buttons, kicking and tantruming, feet in our face, ARGH.

We finally threw up our hands and gave up when Dan just barely caught his cup of coffee mere moments before being swiped off the coffee table.

I'm sure I said something like, "FINE!  We won't talk to each other, I'm sorry we dared to discuss something in your presence that doesn't involve you and your never ending needs!"

Come to think about it, we still haven't gotten back to that conversation about doors.  Still no decision, or even discussion on the subject, in a whole month.

So my point is, this is why it's hard to blog everyday.  Something has to give, and while it's worth the sacrifice SOME days, I'm definitely over trying to do it everyday.

It's telling that my own bedtime has been pushed to almost 11:30 most nights, an hour later than it was a month ago.  Now that is just stupid, I'm barely getting any sleep as it is.

But I'm going to try my hardest not to disappear or even go back to blogging just once or twice a month, and the effort this last month was definitely worth it if I can improve on my track record there.

Onward to December!