39 weeks, 5 days

Alternate title: Sooooo Crabby.

So let's get this out of the way.  No, I haven't hit my due date yet.  I am not (yet) overdue, and I realize that I really should be digging deep down to find a way to embrace that fact and remain all hippie zen about these last days of pregnancy.  Find a way to focus on the good.

I just cannot seem to do it.  I am so sick of being pregnant.  I am so sick of waking up every 1.5 hours each night to flip over because my hip has gone numb.  Oh, and might as well go to the bathroom while I'm up.  I can't believe how long each night feels.  I look at the clock with dread, just hoping it's time to get up, even though I'm still SO EXHAUSTED every single morning.

I am sick of the mind games.  I am sick of being in limbo.

Not to mention (wait, I'm mentioning it) the heartburn seems to have come back.  And the intense pelvic pain.  And some GI issues.

Yay!  Everyone's favorite thing, to hear a pregnant lady complain about her symptoms.

Sorry.

Let's just move on from the obvious, that I would like to get this baby on the outside.  And it should also go without saying that I am anxious to meet her and get to know her and have her in my arms and introduce her to her brothers and attempt to ease into (or more likely barrel into) our new normal as a family of five.  We are all just so excited.  And so ready.

We have been staying relatively busy, which helps.  And I'm pretty good about being upbeat about life until the early evening rolls around, and then I'm just done.  It never fails, dinner/bedtime and you can cue the hysterics and crazy pregnant lady whining.  (A-la above.)

 The kids are both on antibiotics after testing positive for strep last week.  Thankfully, neither of them ever really exhibited any terrible symptoms, but we decided to get Gus tested while we were at the pediatrician for pink eye, since he had been exposed to it at both daycare and preschool.  And that set off the whole thing.  Gus ended up missing school all week long, and then Monday of course was President's Day so he had off.  And the Friday before last was some sort of teacher's conference day, so he hasn't been to school in 2 weeks.  We are very much off our routine, and then there's the impending baby thing, so life has just been weird.

There's a big bright side in all of that sick kid drama, though, which is that it happened LAST week.  And both kids are now busy getting healthy, are not contagious, and are able to go to school/daycare.  Also Dan and I both tested negative and the sore throat that I've had for a week has finally subsided.  Now let's have this baby before anyone else gets sick!

Last weekend was my nephew Lucas's birthday, and thank goodness we were healthy for it because Gus in particular would have been DEVASTATED to miss the big party.  Such a fun day at John and Dannell's house, and I got to squeeze 3 week-old baby Liela quite a bit, who I hadn't seen since visiting her in the hospital the night she was born.  It was good to just relish in her newborn-ness, take in that delicious scent and remember what it feels like to hold and comfort and love such a tiny, innocent little person.  Such a gift. 

You can tell the party was on Valentines day, all of these cute cousins dressed by their mothers in appropriately festive red and pink. 

I love watching little kids hold babies.  It's clear that they've watched and learned how they're supposed to do it from grown-ups.  Abby had her turn with her newest cousin and didn't stop gently adjusting Liela's blanket, glancing down at her and quietly and carefully marveling over her little feet and hands.  I could tell she knew what a privilege this little moment was, and I could see that she was proud.  It was very sweet.   

 

I think I saw them fill up that bowl of cheese balls something like 3 times.  Before lunch.  So gross, but such a rare treat and I am too pregnant to care.

 

The kids went to bed quite early after the big birthday party so Dan and I actually got to have a nice little Valentines date at home.  We held hands and snuggled on the couch, watched a really lovely movie (Begin Again), and I had my 2nd glass of red wine this pregnancy.  Savored every. single. sip.  

Sunday was a low key day at home and it was welcome after our busy Saturday.  I even took a nap, and then we had dinner at my parents' house which meant a good home cooked meal that I did not have to cook and a welcome distraction from still being pregnant. I was really hoping Sunday... or even Monday, would be the day.  But alas.  Here we are. 

Still pregnant.  

I'll tell you, if I remain pregnant into next week I will be working from home, I think I'm making people uncomfortable in the office.  They don't actually know what to say to me, but are still so curious, so a lot of inappropriate things end up being said.  And it's just... awkward.  One lady called me yesterday just to see if I was still answering my phone.  Ha!  Absurd, but sweet.    

See you on the other side...