Weekend Posting

Last night Lisa and I watched Sabrina (the Audrey Hepburn one not the Harrison Ford one) and honestly, it was not the best Audrey Hepburn movie I’ve seen. Don’t get me wrong, Audrey is ridiculously gorgeous, and the clothes (my god the clothes!) are absolutely to-die-for, especially all the divinely elegant coats she wears. But the rest of it, well I just didn’t find it very exciting. The plot goes to crap when she starts hanging out with Linus, because, frankly, he with the pants up to his boobs and the 5-foot-nothing stature, sucks. Humphrey Bogart in Sabrina has got to be the least charming and least sexy leading man I’ve ever seen on film, (possibly even worse than Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch, and that says a lot). My God, where is Cary Grant when you need him?

After that, we figured we should buckle down and watch the episode of Gilmore Girls I had recorded on Tuesday, even though we were dreading it like it was a chore. Oh my God did it suck, I am so sad at the state of that show these days. The whole Chris and Lorelei proposal/elopement thing, it was just so horrible and cringe-inducing, very difficult to watch. We were like 12-year girls during the scene when he was proposing, shrieking, “ewe, so gross!” I’ve been sort of content with their dating, I wouldn’t say I was enjoying it but it was actually kind of sweet, and they’re pretty good with the back-and-forth banter stuff, but all the teary-eyed confessions of love and the post-coital gushing, just plain gross. I can’t take it.

It’s been a nice weekend so far; I ran this morning, and then Dan and I went out for coffee and pastries (gotta balance out the exercise with high-calorie foods, right?), then we did some more Christmas shopping. We are doing so awesome this year, we’ve got about half of our list checked off and it’s not even Thanksgiving! Crap I’m boring, huh? Now we’re just chilling at home, drinking more coffee and awaiting Lisa and Angela’s arrival so we can order pizza. Then it’s off to Liz’s birthday party, which I’ve been looking forward to all week!

I believe this is the first time I have ever posted from home, which is kind of sad, but it’s a milestone of some sort, so it must be stated.

I had to look up the word "proverbial", and I still don't know how to use it

Dan and I went for a run outside yesterday morning, and holy crap did it seriously kick our asses. We’re doing a 5K on Thanksgiving morning, so we figured we should, I don’t know, train our lungs a bit for the cold as well as remind ourselves of the fact that it is so much easier to run on our treadmill than it is to run outside on the hilly streets in the freezing cold. Being that I was a total Debbie Downer about doing it, we did better than I expected, and I kind of sort of enjoyed it a little. It actually felt good to exercise outside, imagine that! I suppose it just feels a little more primal and gritty than running while watching the Top 20 Video Countdown on VH1. (Speaking of, did you see that Kiefer was on it this weekend? He is looking so yum these days, I can’t wait for 24 to come back!)

Anyway, it was really quite a nice little day we had yesterday, the perfect commitment-free lazy Sunday. We went out for a light lunch and sat around drinking coffee and Diet Coke, looking at the ads and talking about Christmas presents and finances and all that, but not in a stressful way. I think we figured out what camera we are going to buy to replace my broken Canon piece of crap. Oh, I suppose I have an update on the whole camera debacle. The nice people at Canon offered to fix it for us for just $169, which is nice of them, seeing as I can buy an entirely new camera for just about $100 more than that. Manufacturer’s warranties are such a scam. Grrr. Don’t buy a Canon, this is Canon number TWO that has gone to crap on us in like less than a year. I am bitter. This is just the worst time ever to have to buy a new camera, seeing as I have been talking about trying to buy a laptop and an ipod as well. With Christmas coming and our Colorado vacation just around the corner, (not to mention starting school in January), we can’t really afford any of them, let alone all of them.

Wow, my camera-ranting and financial issues are really really boring. Sorry. This blog sucks.

I should get going, it’s Monday and I have lots to do on Monday mornings at work, weekly actuals and multiple customer deliverables and all that. So far, though, I must say I’ve done a pretty good job procrastinating this morning. I wish I could put procrastinating on my resume and it be a good thing. I seriously rock the proverbial house of procrastination. That doesn’t make any sense.

Not very perky today

I listen to a local talk radio station at my desk at work for most of the day (FM 107.1) and I can’t tell you how many “holiday-themed” commercials I am already hearing. And it really pisses me off. Seriously, I LOVE Christmas season! I am a tried and true sap when it comes to that time of the year, I love watching all the old-time movies on TV and listening to the non-stop holiday music on the radio, I love the blankets of snow on the roofs of the 70-year old Tudor houses in my neighborhood, I love the sparkling twinkle lights and red and gold bows all over the Twin Cities, I love baking cookies and putting them in Santa tins, I love making lists and shopping for gifts, (I don’t even mind the frantic malls filled to their brims with shoppers)… I seriously love everything about the holiday season. But it is November 8th, and it is just WAY TOO EARLY. Am I wrong? Isn’t this the reason why people are so exhausted and sick of it all by the time December 25th is finally here? By then, we’ve been fricken living it for two fricken months! Argh, it’s all those greedy big corporations’ fault, they’re ruining it for the rest of us. I’m becoming jaded and I hate that. I’m crabby now.

Speaking of things that make me crabby, did I tell y’all that I broke my camera on Halloween? I was so pissed, somehow I knocked it clear off the kitchen counter during the party. Yeah, I was a little bit drunken… but not “break-stuff-drunken”, I could have sworn I was more like “everything-is-hilarious-drunken”. But I suppose I did find out recently that I made plans for a game-night on November 11th with some friends, and I have no recollection of having that conversation at all, so I guess I was more “nonsense-talking-fuzzy-memory-camera-breaking-drunken”. Anyway, Best Buy sent the camera back to Canon, and since I’ve had it for less than a year, I’m praying they’ll either send me a new one or give me my money back. I’m sure that’s just wishful thinking, and they’ll somehow figure out that I did indeed drop it, a detail I specifically left out when Dan and I were talking to the Geek Squad guys. Whatevs. (Bets, that’s indeed a shout out.)

Wow, I am indeed a crabby biyatch.

Testing... 1, 2, 3

Well, I’m glad that’s over.

I took the GMAT yesterday, and it would be an understatement to say that I didn’t manage my time very well in the math section. I ended up having to race the clock in the last 40 seconds trying to at least get some blind guesses in for the remaining 15 questions. Yeah, let me clarify, that’s 15 out of 37 total questions in the quantitative section that I just randomly picked an answer for. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and during those 40 seconds, I swear to God, I just wanted to curl up into the fetal position and cry. It was horrible.

But fear not my friends, I rocked the house on the verbal section (95th percentile baby!) and I ended up with a fairly decent (well, average) total score. Average will do just fine in this case, so I am not going to sweat it. I am just ecstatic to be over that hurdle.

Now it’s on to bugging my bosses for Letters of Recommendation and writing essays about my career goals and where I see myself in 10 years. Sweet.



And since this post had not an ounce of fun in it, here’s a picture of my baby. She is doing what she is almost always doing, dropping a toy at my feet and giving me her adorably irresistible doggy-eyes in an attempt to initiate a game of fetch.

I’m off to the polls, everyone get out and VOTE!

Donut Run

So I have to say I’m a little depressed today, I’m feeling a little let down. It just doesn’t seem like a Friday (I’m not crazy, I know its Thursday, but tomorrow is our Friday off, so it’s at least supposed to feel like Friday). And the reason? Our donut club has been abolished (that word sounds harsher than it should here, the donut club was terminated completely voluntarily by its members), and essentially I no longer have an excuse to eat a donut once a week. Why is it so much easier to guiltlessly enjoy a chocolate glazed donut when it is bought for you by someone else? I could have very easily picked one up this morning at the convenience store when I was getting my $0.89 coffee, (and believe me, I wanted to), but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I did everything I could to avert my eyes from the evil donut case while adding skim milk and sweet‘n low to my large dark roast.

Argh, I seriously want a donut so bad. Did I mention that I almost broke down and bought one from the cafeteria about an hour ago, but instead scampered off in shame still clutching my dollar bill after lurking about for no less than 60 seconds? Seriously? I am a loser.

In other news, I’m taking the GMAT on Monday and I am absolutely dreading it. I’m so terrified of doing terribly. When did I become so un-sure of myself? I seriously studied for about 15 minutes before taking the ACT in high school, (and only because my parents made me take one of those prep classes and I couldn’t pass notes the WHOLE two hours), and I kicked that test’s ass! I guess the GMAT is a little more important, starting my MBA this January pretty much hinges on it, and it is ridiculously more difficult than any other standardized test I've ever taken. No calculator! What are they trying to do to us? So my mind, at the moment, is a jumble of multiplication tables (quick, what’s 7 times 8?), grammatical rules, and geometrical (is that a real word?) formulas that I have not used since 10th grade. Oh, and I haven’t started studying for the writing portion of the test yet. There are two 30-minute essay portions of the test in which I must either evaluate and criticize an argument or make an argument of my own, offering full support of my stance. It’ll be a blast. I gotta say, though, it’s kind of fun to be doing “school” stuff again, I guess I sort of missed it, weird how that happens. Can someone remind me of that sentiment in 6 months when I’m knee-deep in managerial accounting rules and organizational development theory?

And in other, other news, I am not going to talk about how I started running again this week after almost two months of pure laziness because it will inevitably be the beginning of the end of my exercise motivation. (I swear, though, something clicked when we turned our clocks back for Day-light Savings.) I will just say that it feels awesome.

I still want a donut. Chocolate. With sprinkles.

(Did anyone catch my title's shout-out to the most delicous and hilarious show on television, Veronica Mars? Probably not, because I am a big geek.)

Also, why, when I type this up in Word, and copy into Blogger, does it condense into one the two spaces I have between the end of a sentence and the start of a new. What the hell is that about? I never noticed that until now. That pisses me off.

Happy Halloween!

I'm still alive, I'll try to write soon! Hope everyone has a fabulous Halloween. It's, of course, f-ing freezing here in Minneapolis...



(That's me as FBI agent Clarice Starling, and Betsy the Slutty Bee!

Stealth

So there’s this girl in my office that drives me absolutely crazy, and I don’t even know her. I realize I’m a terrible person for having such negative feelings towards someone who I know next-to-nothing about, and I also know that it’s even more despicable that I have decided to go as far as to write about how much she aggravates me here, but to that, I say, “whatever”. I’ve never claimed to be nice.

What do I know about this girl? Hmm… let’s see, I know that EVERYDAY she wears white high-top sneakers and tapered jeans (which are way too tight and surely must be painful to wear, as they cause me, an innocent bystander, to wince with pain whenever I see her sporting those crotch-separators.) I know that she just recently got her hair cut because the style she’s sporting is that whole stacked short bob/triangle cut I’m sure you’re all familiar with, and it is very obvious that the back of her neck has recently be shaved. I also know that she and I have somehow gotten our bathroom usage routines almost perfectly in synch, which continues to aggravate me on a daily basis. Truthfully, this is the main source of my annoyance with her, so let’s just quit with the introductions and break it down right now. This girl is the most irritating stealth pooper EVER!

We’ve already established that she is pretty much in the bathroom every single time I go there. I know this because we either fatefully end up walking in there at the same time, or I see her glaringly white high-tops from under the stall as I enter. Well, I’ve come to find that the poor girl has some serious issues with taking a “number two” when another lady is in the room. This is not something I begrudge her, as I, myself, am a practicing stealth pooper, however, the way we differ is that I have perfected the well-known routine and she just camps-the-hell-out in the stall. FOR AS LONG AS SHE HAS TO. It’s without fail: if I have to take a crap (yea, I know, I hate that I do it at work but I am a very regular girl and it is just unavoidable), she will be in there, and it’s almost as if she’s waiting for me, just waiting to thwart my plans to do my business. Thus, I go into my stall, listen for her, realize she is making no sounds whatsoever which means she is in there for the long haul, so I make a quick piddle, wash my hands, and get out of there, hoping I can come back in ten minutes and, God-willing, she’ll be gone.

This crap also happens when I’m the first one in there. I sit down, ready to get going, and I hear the door open. At that point I know I just can’t do it until the intruder is gone (I guess I’m sort of a sad character in this story as well, huh?) so I usually try to stall for a minute, playing with the toilet paper, pretending to adjust my clothing, hoping they’ll be quick. If there’s not a lot of movement from the other stall, I resign to the fact that it’s just not going to happen and I’ll have to come back later. And what do you know… I swear to God nine times out of ten, whose shoes do you think I see when I exit the stall and head to the sink? You’re damn right; it’s those ridiculous white high-tops. Sometimes the whole situation makes me so angry that I take my sweet ass time while washing my hands, maybe I’ll start fixing my hair, adjusting my outfit, cleaning scuffs off my shoes, checking for smudged makeup, anything that will make her sweat in there just a little bit.

I mean, seriously! Why can’t she be the one to (just once-in-a-while!) surrender and try again later? She has some major resolve and some crazy huge balls, I know that. I should also mention that on the occasion that the two of us are concurrently in the restroom to perform the less foul of the two bodily excretory functions, and if we end up at the sink washing our hands at the same time, the chick refuses to look me in the eye. I swear she knows how much she pisses me off, and she’s scared of me. Even though I am evil on the inside, and I blog about the gross bathroom antics that take place at my workplace, I am very nice in-person. I always give her a little half smile and a nod when we’re at the sink together, or when we pass each other in the hall, but she just looks down at her feet like a scared little boy. To which I say… “Whatever, don’t look at me punk, I really couldn’t care less, but you need to seriously look into the etiquette of office pooping. There’s a courteous way of doing it, and there’s a bitch way of doing it. Figure it out.”

Balderdash!

Finally, I present to you the long-ago-promised highlights from an intense game of Balderdash, played one scorching hot and sweaty July evening among eight good friends.



(That’s not really us, but it sure looks like they’re having fun doesn’t it?!)

I should probably preface this with one big fat, “You had to be there”, in case the absolute hilariousness of that evening is not quite as funny to someone who didn’t actually participate in it.

If you haven’t played balderdash, you basically have to exercise your twisted imagination and bullshit your way into winning. There are five categories: people, words (so very old-school), initials, movies, and laws, and I’m pretty sure I have highlights from each category. Seriously, I almost pissed my pants about 12 times throughout the evening. My friends are awesome.

Oh, one last note – none of these are mine because I am TERRIBLE at this game due to the fact that I am not quite as warped as my seven opponents. This game seriously stresses me out, and immediately upon receiving our word or movie or whatever, my heart starts beating crazily, my head starts spinning, and I furiously cross out words and scribble down nonsense until all other players are finished and ready to go. So yea. I suck. But as I said, my friends are awesome.

1. Category: Movie. “Bongo”

Making of a label: How Bongo Jeans became an American fashion statement. ~Heidi

The story of a young boy and his only friend: the drum. ~Angela

An eclectic tale of Gloria Estefan’s career from the conception of the Miami Sound Machine to a tragic bus accident; the beat goes on. [Definitely the best one all night, I should have left it for last.] ~Andy

2. Category: Law. “In North Carolina, it is against the law to enter into a…”

…homosexual relationship on the third Wednesday of the month while wearing a flip flop on your left foot, and a snake skin boot on your right. ~Dan

…kosher bakery after eating bacon, ham, or other pork products. ~Heidi

…Long John Silvers drive-thru through the exit lane unless you are smoking a cigarette made in North Carolina. [Seriously, what?] ~Andy

...walk-in-freezer without wearing a hat or earmuffs. [Ok, I decided to include one of mine, cause I was feeling left out.] ~Alicia

3. Category: Initials. “N.A.B.R.”

Nigerian-American Boxcar Racing ~Betsy

National Association of Bridge Repairers ~Corey

National Avairian Bathing Reservation ~Andy

4. Category: Person. “Bernard Moeller”

Proved white guys can jump at a slam dunk competition in Compton. ~Heidi

5. Category: Word. “Zyzzyva”

A powder like substance used to make Egyptian corn bread used in religious ceremonies. ~Betsy

A word of Czech origin referring to the vibration of a fart. ~Liz

Russian slang for poop. ~Corey

6. Category: Movie. “The Cow”

Whoopie Goldberg was the voice of the cow who was being threatened to leave her range for selling LSD. [Another one of those that makes you go, huh?] ~Dan

A tragic short detailing the ups & downs of yo-yo dieting. ~Andy

7. Category: Law. “In St. Anthony, Idaho, it is illegal to read…”

…any propaganda stating the potato is not delicious or nutritious. ~Heidi

…the Bible while going poop. [Dan actually read this as “the Bible while I poop”, because he had written a “1” on the paper that he somehow misconstrued as an “I”. This was really what got us rolling on the floor.]

8. Category: Initials. “H.H.M.I”

Hungry Hippos’ Members Insight ~Heidi

Humongous Homosexuals March Intoxicated [That would be quite a sight!] ~Dan

9. Category: Movie. “Ladies Who Do.”

An encapsilating tale of four horribly disfigured women who won’t take no for an answer. ~Andy

10. Category: Law. “In Tennessee, a now outdated law said a man was forbidden to divorce unless he…”

…had accidentally married a large mouth bass, or his cousin. ~Andy

11. Category: Initials. “P.H.C.A”

Plane Helicopter Car Association. ~Betsy

Chicago Pictures!

Finally, I know. Sorry guys. Click on the picture and it'll send you on over to the set on Flickr.



Hopefully I'll be back blogging soon, but removing red-eye and uploading these mothers took me about three hours tonight, so I'm sorry that I don't have the time or energy to come up with any substance in this post. Later.

Something's gotta give

I have been sitting at my desk, barely doing a thing all morning, in a trance-like state of exhaustion. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I am just so tired. So very tired. I had to have a conference call with some evil corporate grouchy accountants at 9:00, which did not help make my morning any better. Honestly, I am feeling so lazy and so blech, I can’t even think of the words so I can write them here because my brain hurts when I try to use it.

I’m feeling very uninspired with my job lately. I’m bored, and when I get bored, my motivation and ambition just fly right out my imaginary office window. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, but, my God, I can’t imagine 50 more years of this. Hell no. I want to do something creative, something that makes me excited, something that matters. The problem is, I have no idea what that is. This all sounds so cliché, and I hate that. Can’t I just be one of those people that makes good money doing a job that is just that, a job, and is happy in the rest of her life, happy with the people she’s chosen to spend her life with, happy with the things she does after work and on weekends and on vacations? I mean, there are lots of people out there that live their lives like that right?

Maybe it’s just the industry I’m in, I don’t think I necessarily hate being in finance, maybe I just hate working in government defense, that seems like a more logical explanation. Well, I hope that’s it, because changing jobs is one thing, I don’t know how to completely change your whole career path. It’s actually a really scary thing to think about, because I feel like I’ve let myself become so reliant on my income, and I’m not sure we could handle the adjustments that would have to be made as a family if that changed. And furthermore, I’m not sure I could handle that kind of pressure, the pressure that comes from making a huge life-changing decision. What happens if I don’t like the new career either? What happens if I fail? What happens if I change my mind? Being married means that these decisions are not just mine to make, what I do affects Dan and our future life together. But people do that kind of thing all the time, change careers, right? I’ve got to assume it works out sometimes, right? The one thing I’ve always wanted was to be an entrepreneur, but I’m such a chicken, terrified of loosing a shit-load of money, terrified of failing, letting myself down. But how great would it be if I didn’t fail? How amazing would it feel to have pride in what I’m doing, to get up in the morning excited about what I’m going to do that day?

I wonder if I’m just in a funk. I can’t even bring myself to do my hair in the morning lately. I’ve worn it up in a messy frizzy bun 4 out of the 5 working days this week. How’s that for cute? Today, I didn’t even bother getting out the blow-dryer at all. I just pulled all my wet, color-faded, split-end ridden hair back, slapped on some bronzer and mascara, grabbed my favorite comfy jeans from the laundry basket full of clean clothes that has been sitting in the living room for a week waiting for me to put them away, and topped the whole look off with flip flops that are not technically “suitable office attire”, even for casual Friday. Yes, I’m quite the professional.

I’m getting too comfortable. Being comfortable in a career should be a good thing, but I’m starting to worry that I’m not moving at the pace I should be. I need to get my MBA if I want to be on track with the people that all graduated when I did, but it’s hard to get motivated about doing that when I’m not sure I’m happy where this whole career thing of mine is going.

And then there’s babies, it all goes back to those damn babies doesn’t it? At some point here, I’d like to start having babies, and then will I even care about my career anymore? I almost feel like the answer to that question is no, but then I worry that the only reason I feel that way is because I am so bored with where I’m at now.

I just don’t know. Something has to change here though, at some point.