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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Balderdash!

Finally, I present to you the long-ago-promised highlights from an intense game of Balderdash, played one scorching hot and sweaty July evening among eight good friends.

balderdash

(That’s not really us, but it sure looks like they’re having fun doesn’t it?!)

I should probably preface this with one big fat, “You had to be there”, in case the absolute hilariousness of that evening is not quite as funny to someone who didn’t actually participate in it.

If you haven’t played balderdash, you basically have to exercise your twisted imagination and bullshit your way into winning. There are five categories: people, words (so very old-school), initials, movies, and laws, and I’m pretty sure I have highlights from each category. Seriously, I almost pissed my pants about 12 times throughout the evening. My friends are awesome.

Oh, one last note – none of these are mine because I am TERRIBLE at this game due to the fact that I am not quite as warped as my seven opponents. This game seriously stresses me out, and immediately upon receiving our word or movie or whatever, my heart starts beating crazily, my head starts spinning, and I furiously cross out words and scribble down nonsense until all other players are finished and ready to go. So yea. I suck. But as I said, my friends are awesome.

1. Category: Movie. “Bongo”

Making of a label: How Bongo Jeans became an American fashion statement. ~Heidi

The story of a young boy and his only friend: the drum. ~Angela

An eclectic tale of Gloria Estefan’s career from the conception of the Miami Sound Machine to a tragic bus accident; the beat goes on. [Definitely the best one all night, I should have left it for last.] ~Andy

2. Category: Law. “In North Carolina, it is against the law to enter into a…”

…homosexual relationship on the third Wednesday of the month while wearing a flip flop on your left foot, and a snake skin boot on your right. ~Dan

…kosher bakery after eating bacon, ham, or other pork products. ~Heidi

…Long John Silvers drive-thru through the exit lane unless you are smoking a cigarette made in North Carolina. [Seriously, what?] ~Andy

...walk-in-freezer without wearing a hat or earmuffs. [Ok, I decided to include one of mine, cause I was feeling left out.] ~Alicia

3. Category: Initials. “N.A.B.R.”

Nigerian-American Boxcar Racing ~Betsy

National Association of Bridge Repairers ~Corey

National Avairian Bathing Reservation ~Andy

4. Category: Person. “Bernard Moeller”

Proved white guys can jump at a slam dunk competition in Compton. ~Heidi

5. Category: Word. “Zyzzyva”

A powder like substance used to make Egyptian corn bread used in religious ceremonies. ~Betsy

A word of Czech origin referring to the vibration of a fart. ~Liz

Russian slang for poop. ~Corey

6. Category: Movie. “The Cow”

Whoopie Goldberg was the voice of the cow who was being threatened to leave her range for selling LSD. [Another one of those that makes you go, huh?] ~Dan

A tragic short detailing the ups & downs of yo-yo dieting. ~Andy

7. Category: Law. “In St. Anthony, Idaho, it is illegal to read…”

…any propaganda stating the potato is not delicious or nutritious. ~Heidi

…the Bible while going poop. [Dan actually read this as “the Bible while I poop”, because he had written a “1” on the paper that he somehow misconstrued as an “I”. This was really what got us rolling on the floor.]

8. Category: Initials. “H.H.M.I”

Hungry Hippos’ Members Insight ~Heidi

Humongous Homosexuals March Intoxicated [That would be quite a sight!] ~Dan

9. Category: Movie. “Ladies Who Do.”

An encapsilating tale of four horribly disfigured women who won’t take no for an answer. ~Andy

10. Category: Law. “In Tennessee, a now outdated law said a man was forbidden to divorce unless he…”

…had accidentally married a large mouth bass, or his cousin. ~Andy

11. Category: Initials. “P.H.C.A”

Plane Helicopter Car Association. ~Betsy

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Chicago Pictures!

Finally, I know. Sorry guys. Click on the picture and it'll send you on over to the set on Flickr.

Sears Tower4

Hopefully I'll be back blogging soon, but removing red-eye and uploading these mothers took me about three hours tonight, so I'm sorry that I don't have the time or energy to come up with any substance in this post. Later.