Monday, March 30, 2009

Insane pregnant lady at your service

Just wanted to quick pop in and say hello. Over the last week, I swear this belly of mine has really done some crazy growing. Its fun to finally be “showing” but it’s definitely an adjustment. Every once in a while, I just get totally weirded out that there’s a little being in my stomach. It’s just so strange, I feel sort of alien-esque. Whenever I start thinking too far along the lines of the whole alien thing (sharp teeth, scaly skin, spiky claws), I go online and look at pictures of cute babies wearing little knitted hats or teeny tiny moccasins. It’s a comforting reminder that one of those little adorable things is growing in there.

And FYI, I bought one of those adorable little hats on Etsy a few weeks ago. I just couldn’t help myself. Check out this seller, everything she has for sale is just way too cute for words.

Speaking of buying things for the wee one, I’m starting to feel sort of behind on Operation: Prepare for Baby. I’ve pretty much bought only completely inane things so far that just rope me in with their cuteness. I’ve been jotting down notes and planning what I want to do in the nursery for weeks, but I haven’t bought a single thing, beyond a little print I also found on Etsy that will just go perfect with my color scheme. Anyway, I think the appearance of the bump has sent me into a bit of a panic, I feel like I am way behind and there are only five months left before the baby and this summer will likely be crazy busy as it is and oh my god the contractors still haven’t even started on our basement yet holy crap holy crap. I’m crazy. I still have five months left! That is PLENTY of time to get everything done that I want to do.

This is just how my brain works on Mondays, it is all over the place and ridiculous. In any event, I am off to my first prenatal yoga class! I hate doing new things, I get so nervous. Hopefully its good times and I can avoid being socially awkward.
Edited to Add: This week's belly pics. 17 weeks, 5 days.

Friday, March 27, 2009

I just threw up.

What the hell? What are you doing to me baby? I haven’t gotten sick for almost two weeks now, I feel good when I get out of bed every morning, and I had officially declared myself morning sickness free! I am 17 weeks along! WHAT THE HELL!

So yea, because I was trying to “will” the nausea away (because duh, I was officially done with morning sickness), this is the first time I didn’t make it to the bathroom. Yup, I threw up in my wastebasket in my office. I did, thankfully, make it to the door in time to close it, so that the people in the conference room next to my office didn’t have to hear my wretching. How embarrassing.

But afterwards, I was immediately struck with, “What am I supposed to do with the puke now?” Obviously I wasn’t going to let it fester in my office all day, but I also wasn’t going to take the bag out to the communal trash down the hall and let it stink up the whole place! I messaged Ben, because I wasn’t feeling sane enough to make this decision myself, and he said to take it to one of those trash cans outside, so I made him walk downstairs with me and did just that.

What a ridiculous Friday morning. Hope yours is going better!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


I don’t do the whole “weekend recap” thing very often on this blog, but I’m really trying to write more these days, and it’s just far too difficult to find an encompassing theme every time I post. I end up just not writing because I can’t seem to get started. But I’m really starting to feel like this is the perfect time in my life to reflect a lot and in a way, document my experiences, because I’d love to have them for my son or daughter to read someday. I want him or her to know what life was like for mommy and daddy before “baby”, and how excited we were during these months leading up to his or her arrival. Anyway, so if it’s alright, I’m just going to do the whole stream of consciousness thing, and see where it takes me. Something is better than nothing right?

This weekend was just absolutely fantastic. Not only was it beautiful here in the cities, but I got to spend a proportionate amount of time with friends, family, my husband, and by myself. It was quite simply the perfect weekend, and exactly what I have been needing.

I had the day off on Friday, and I had literally no plans for my day, which usually means I will end up doing close to nothing. I know myself well enough to admit that when I don’t make a physical list in which I write things like “get car washed” or “vacuum living room floor”, it’s likely I won’t do them. I am not a mental list kind of girl. I need to cross things off. I need to visualize the tasks in order for them to get done. Well like I was saying, on Friday I didn’t write anything down, and I barely accomplished anything. I ironed some clothes, loaded the dishwasher, begrudgingly called Sprint customer service, and watched an episode of Real Housewives of New York City, multiple episodes of Bringing Home Baby, and about 95% of JFK (which is like a bajillion hours long, especially when played on TV with commercials). I FINALLY showered at 3:00, and quick before Dan got home I sorted the laundry for the first time in about six months. I am such an amazing wife, your husband/boyfriend is, I’m sure, jealous. Later that night Dan and I met up with Lisa for dinner and to catch up since she had just returned from a week long vacation in Mexico. (Jealousy.) I drooled a bit watching Dan drink his beer. I know I shouldn’t say it, but I totally miss beer and red wine. And soft cheeses. Oh my, the cheese thing is sort of killing me.

Saturday really truly felt like the first day of spring. Lisa and I took the dog for a walk around Palmer Lake, and it felt so good to be out in the sun getting some exercise. Bella got muddy and smelly of course, but she was in heaven so it was well worth it. It was really nice to get one-on-one buddy time with Lisa, and we chatted about all things baby, work, and of course boy related. I am really determined to get outside more now that the weather is getting more cooperative, and stay active throughout the pregnancy. Now that I’m out of the first trimester and feeling a lot better, even though I don’t feel up to starting up with the running again, I’d really like to try to walk 3-4 times a week. Again, I know myself and I know how important exercise is to my general well being. I am seriously a beastly person when I let myself be lazy for too long, Dan usually gets the grunt of it. I think I need those endorphins to stay sane and to just keep me going every day.

We met more buddies for lunch, which was lovely, and afterwards I set out to do some shopping. I really love shopping by myself, and I suppose I should enjoy it while I can huh? Come fall I will have a little babe attached to my hip/boob. I bought some new tops (some maternity, some not) that should make getting dressed every day for work a little easier. I’m starting to dread those 15 minutes every morning, and my closet looks like a tornado went through. Pregnant outfit crisises (crisi?) are much worse than the regular ones, believe me.

On Sunday we spent most of our day out in Stillwater, doing some antiquing with my parents. Ugh, I want to live in Stillwater, it is so beautiful. We had a ridiculously delicious brunch and again just enjoyed being outdoors in such a lovely town. It’s fun to be able to look for baby stuff, I’m having a great time thinking about the nursery and what we’re going to do in there.

Wow, THIS is why I don’t do these “weekend recap” things very often. I feel like such a douche just listing off the things I did every day. Seriously, I was “this” close to just writing about what Dan and I made for dinner on Sunday night, and about the pineapple I picked up at the grocery store that I was dangerously close to devouring in one sitting. I have no problem with the life I lead, but it is obviously not so exciting on paper. Even my baby will be embarrassed by how boring and mundane this all is if he or she really does read this someday. (I swear kid - I used to dance on bars and sing at the top of my lungs and take “Betsy’s Special” shots.)

I’ll leave you with the first “belly shot” I’ve taken, at 16 weeks, 5 days. It’s finally starting to grow, and I’m a little surprised by my reaction. People aren’t kidding when they say that it makes it feel all the more real when there becomes real physical “visible” proof of something growing inside of you. I mean seriously, how freaking crazy IS that? It really is crazy. When I lay on my back, I can feel the hard little lump that is my uterus in there, like a big ole’ orange or avocado right there in my belly. Last night it was on the left side, and when I woke up this morning it was on the right. Crazy crazy crazy that our bodies were built to do this, I’m just starting to feel so in awe of the whole process.

Anyway, the picture is not that great, and for some reason I decided to take it on a day when I was wearing the busiest shirt anyone has ever seen, so it is hard to see the little bump that I have going on there. Also, my desk is a mess of binders and folders and my office isn’t quite as sad as this makes it look. Well, maybe it is.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I Am Woman

This being pregnant thing is kind of crazy. Yes, for those of you who don’t know me in real life, I’ll be 16 weeks pregnant in a few days! That in itself is seriously crazy. Sometimes I can’t believe it, but then I vomit a bunch of stomach bile in the shower (i.e. this morning) and I am reminded that there’s a little baby in there who brought along with him or her lots of crazy hormones which are wreaking havoc on my body. I try to limit the complaining about morning sickness and all that to my wonderful husband, but I’m pretty sure even he’s getting tired of hearing about it, which I totally understand. I hate being an invalid. It’s strange though, I’ll feel relatively good for a few days and think I’m through the worst of it, especially now that I’m well into the second trimester. I was all over the place this weekend walking on rainbows and blowing kisses to bunnies, telling everyone how much more energy I have and how the nausea has almost completely disappeared. And then I started the week out yesterday by running from my office to the bathroom multiple times, slumping over in my chair most of the day, and sucking on Preggie Pops like they were going out of style. I totally jinxed myself didn’t I?

Anyway, in other news, my belly is starting to grow, and most of my pants are seriously uncomfortable. I’m in what I feel is a pretty ugly phase. I am “showing” based on what clothes I’m wearing and how much I’m sucking in, and random people I meet at Target, or coworkers who haven’t yet “heard” the news, would think I’ve just eaten too many cheeseburgers. I’ve avoided maternity shopping up until recently because I just don’t know what I’ll need, and how long certain things will fit. The whole thing rather stresses me out. However, one of the girls that I met through grad school just had her second (and last) baby in December, and she gave me all her maternity clothes when we met up for lunch a few weeks ago. I can sometimes be sort of bratty about “used” clothes, mostly because if I wasn’t a little bratty, my mother would make it her personal mission to fill my closet with her thrift store finds. But getting a huge box of ALL of someone’s maternity clothes, I have decided, is the best thing ever. I now have about 5 skirts, 4 dresses, 4 pairs of work pants, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shorts, and loads of both casual and “office-appropriate” tops. I feel like I’m totally set, and as I go through my pregnancy will now be able to just supplement my new wardrobe as I change sizes or get totally sick of certain things. I went through everything this weekend, and organized by size, and now just feel as if this huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Which brings me to women, and how awesome I think they are. While there are still lots of those out there who will only tell you their horror stories, or brag about how little weight they gained (Mom), for the most part I have found my relationships and conversations with other women who have gone through pregnancy and childbirth totally empowering. The girls from grad school, who I met up with for a quick lunch that turned into 3 hours, were so supportive, excited, and non-judgmental. One friend, Jessi, told me she will tell me anything and everything about pregnancy, childbirth, caring for newborns that I’d like to know, but that I just need to remember one thing. She said, “Whatever you’re feeling or going through is totally normal, and it’s ok to feel that way. You have to remember to tell yourself that constantly, now and after the baby is born.” I just love that, and I love her for saying it.

My friend Liz just had her adorable little boy in September, and sometimes I wish I had a tape recorder when I’m talking to her, she has so much helpful advice. Her honesty has been refreshing, she doesn’t leave out the scary stuff, and I think that honesty like that only helps women feel less alone during late night feedings and periods of intense “I don’t know if I can do this anymore” exhaustion. Those women that pretend to be “super mom” every time they talk to you just frustrate me to no end, I mean who or what does that kind of attitude serve?

Then there's Mandy, who I swear IS a super mom, but she certainly doesn't proclaim to be one. I see how much joy she gets from being a mother, and I remember why the morning sickness, bloating, and fat stages will be totally worth it when we have our child. Her relationship with her little boy is awe-inspiring, she just absolutely loves being with him, teaching him new things, providing him with new experiences. I swear she was put on this earth to be a mother. If I get half as much joy from being a mom as Mandy gets, I will be perfectly content.

Betsy and Kate are also both pregnant right now, which is seriously awesome. Betsy is due in July with her first baby girl, and Kate is expecting her second little bugger in August. How lucky am I to be pregnant at the same time as two of my best friends? Hypothetical high-five to God for that one. I love being able to bounce nursery ideas of the two of them, compare notes on weight gain, talk about weird pregnancy things like the constant burping & indigestion. (Seriously, what the heck is that about!?) And when I say “compare notes”, I don’t mean we’re competitive with each other and all Judgy McJudgerson about it. It’s just about receiving and providing extra support amongst friends that know exactly what each is going through.

Women are awesome. I guess that’s what I’m getting at with all my rambling. Being pregnant has only made that more clear.