I’ve been in a bit of a funk over the last few weeks. I’ll admit it, the combination of school and work and life is really stressing me out. I wake up exhausted every morning, I have to tear myself out of bed and into the shower. Once I’m at work, I’m ok, but I’m constantly thinking about everything that I have to do for school, and the inevitable dread of going home starts around 4:00, because then all I’m thinking about is everything I should try to accomplish that night. The traffic seems worse every day, and I have a terrible headache by the time I get home from 40 minutes of stop and go, stop and go. Working out just seems like one more thing to try to fit in, so of course, that’s the thing I’ve dropped. The thing that gives me energy, that makes my body feel good, that is for no one but myself, is the thing I am too lazy or too unmotivated to do. When I’m overwhelmed, I simply start to shut down, any free time I have I spend vegging out on the couch, watching television I could care less about and eating though I’m not even hungry. When I go to bed at night, I lay there thinking about everything that I didn’t do that day. I touch my stomach and feel myself getting chubbier. The next day I wake up and do it all over again. I procrastinate some more. I continue to make excuses why I can’t go for a run. I avoid the piles of laundry that have accumulated. I try not to notice all of the burnt out light bulbs all over the house, or the dust bunnies underneath the coffee table.
I so desperately what to break out of this.