Friday, May 13, 2005

Pity Party

Yesterday when I wrote about my anniversary I didn’t think I would be writing again until after Sunday, but seriously, you have GOT to hear about my morning. It was the worst one in a really long time.

I have to give you a little back story so you can understand the hell that was this AM. So yesterday my parents went to Chicago to pick up my brother from college for the summer, and they asked Dan and I if we would watch their dog Sheba while they were gone until late tonight (Friday). This is a pretty common occurrence as my parents go out of town all the time (they worship the ground my two brothers walk on, and hence, travel great distances to see them in every single concert, play, and soccer game that they possibly can). Well, ever since we got our own dog, having Sheba over is not the simple favor that it once was. Combine her senility and geriatric issues with the spastic energy radiating from our four month old pup, and it’s a recipe for disaster. Bella literally runs in frantic circles around our little house taunting Sheba, while Sheba stands there and tries to convince her that she is not to be messed with, growling and showing her teeth every time Bella so much as goes near her fuzzy tail. Poor little Bella just wants to play, and poor old Sheba just wants to lie down and sleep. Last night, as you can imagine, was exhausting. When it was time for bed, we had our plan laid out. Last time Sheba was over, we put her and her little bed in our room and shut the door, but she kept us and Bella up barking to get out for more than an hour. This time, we thought, we would just put her bed out in the living room and let her do her thing, and hopefully she wouldn’t mess with Bella, whose kennel is in the adjacent dining room.

Of course Bella’s whole night was a little “off”, and she didn’t understand why this mean old dog got to wander around while she was locked in her kennel for the night, so she whined a little more than usual when we put her into bed. Cut to 3:15 AM, when all hell broke loose. I wake up to Sheba crying and scratching at our bedroom door (this is all on one floor, mind you, our bedroom is adjacent to the living room, which is adjacent to the dining room). I tried to ignore her, but after about 15 minutes, I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I went out there, and she walked to the door to be let out. I tried to be as sneaky as humanly possible, because I desperately did not want to disturb little Bella. Sheba acted like a little biyatch, of course, and wouldn’t come back in when I called her, causing me to make more of a ruckus than I had hoped, and thus stirring Bella from her sweet puppy dreams. She predictably started to bark and cry and just generally freak out. So I got Sheba in as soon as possible, shut the door, and went back to bed, hoping Bella would fall back asleep. Cut to 4:30 AM and Bella is still continuing to go absolutely crazy in her kennel, shaking it, scraping at the little metal gate, and crying, crying, crying. Every time Bella would stop crying, Sheba would start barking, seriously the little bitch was egging her on! I thought my head was going to explode, I was so tired and wanted to get to sleep so badly, but it was literally impossible. Finally Dan and I both stormed out of the bedroom, and took both of them outside. When we brought them back in, we put Bella back in her kennel and Sheba in our room, with the door CLOSED. Cut to 4:55 AM and Bella is still crying, Sheba is wandering around our room (click, click, click go her nails on the wood floor), whining and barking in between Bella’s whining and barking. Dan got up twice I think to seriously curse Sheba out and pick her up and place her in her bed. Around that time we finally got to sleep, only to get up 45 minutes later for work.

Cut to me, exhausted, dragging myself into the shower. Dan is on his way out the door, but looks to check on Sheba outside, who has wandered to the neighbor’s back yard. More cursing out of Sheba from Dan, and he was out of there. I got out of the shower to find Bella running circles around Sheba again, but I tried to get ready as best I could, while at the same time keeping an eye on both dogs. It was almost time for me to leave, but I was rushing around getting Sheba’s things together so I could just drop her off at my parents house on the way to work, that way the two of them didn’t have to deal with each other all day alone. I was running about 15 minutes later than I had hoped, and took Bella out one last time before I was to leave. Well, in my frantic rush, I wasn’t paying much attention and walked right through a puddle of pee on the kitchen floor, getting both my bare foot and the bottom of my pants soaked full of stinky ass dog pee. Grrross. So I cleaned it up, washed off my foot, changed my pants and took the damn dog out. I finally get out the door trying to juggle Sheba’s food and bowls and stupid bed with my purse and makeup (which I was going to try to do in the car). I get outside and of course it’s raining, and I don’t even have a jacket, let alone an umbrella. I load the dog and all her crap into my car and realize I left my stupid office badge on my dresser. So it’s back out in the rain I go, running through the house with my wet shoes. When I finally got out of there, and to my parents house, Sheba had obviously decided that my morning had not been difficult enough, because she was busy running into the street and chasing cars instead of listening to my pleading with her to come inside. When I finally got to work, I was soaking wet, my hair was a ball of frizz, and the bottoms of my too-long pants were sopping from trekking through the wet grass after the dog. I am a mess. I’ve never been so happy its Friday before.

Oh, and yes, we will be telling my parents that Sheba is not allowed any more over-nights at our house, because we require more than 4 hours of sleep.

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