Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Bob Barker told us to do it

Our little Bella is getting spayed today. =(

I had to drop her off this morning at the vet on my way into work, and I had such a horrible gut-wrenchingly guilty feeling throughout the whole drive there. She was so excited and so happy to be going with me instead of going into her kennel, it absolutely broke my heart. She had no idea what she was in for, and I felt like such a fraud for making her so happy en route to her reproductive doom.

My friend Maryann is a Vet tech at the animal hospital we go to, so it was nice to see a familiar face when we got there, and to hand our sweet pup over to a trusted friend, but still, it didn’t make it easy. I couldn’t believe how ridiculous I was being, I almost started sobbing right there in the lobby as I said goodbye to her! I knew Maryann could tell, which was highly embarrassing, so I had to leave with my head down a little, cocked to the side, using my hair to hide my puffy eyes.

It’s really quite amazing that in just about 4 short months I have become so attached to an animal; I didn’t fully realize that the attachment was so strong until today. I can’t even imagine what it will be like when we someday have children, and I will have the responsibility of supporting and keeping alive a little tiny person.

I only wish there was another way to get rid of nasty dog menstruation and gross humping tendencies during heat without the whole surgery thing. God, I’m pretty sure I’m going to just break down all over again when I come home tonight to my poor Bella, all groggy and tired, trying to get comfortable with that stupid cone around her head.

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