Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Mariah Carey looked like a sausage

I pretty much spent the entire evening on the couch last night watching the Golden Globes, and of course, the preceding red carpet coverage. It was nice to be able to flip between both Joan and Melissa on the TV Guide channel and the Isaac Mizrahi train wreck on E!. Every time one of them made me uncomfortable, I could just skirt on over to the other channel. I don’t know, I suppose Mizrahi’s bizarre questions did bring out some interesting responses, but it just felt painful to watch. It was quite obvious he hasn’t seen any of the movies or television shows these actors were being honored for, which is fine as I must admit the red carpet is all about the fashions, but it just made things so awkward. Maybe I’m alone in my Mizrahi hate, I don’t know. I’ll say this, he was way better than the ridiculous Star Jones, who has practically disappeared into thin air she’s lost so much weight. No surgery, my ass.

Joan was just as bad, my favorite moment was when she was talking to Emma Thompson, who had brought with her Colin Firth as her date. She had no idea that it was Colin Firth, and started talking to him like he was Emma Thompson’s husband. It was quite hilarious, and I don’t remember what he said, but it was along the lines of, “Oh, no Joan, I’m not her husband, I’m Colin Firth!” Hilarious.

Oh, and what is with Jonathan Rhys Meyers, that guy’s got a major stick up his ass. He was visibly annoyed to be talking with Joan Rivers, which I guess is understandable, but dude, lighten up! He seems like quite the self-involved prick if you ask me. That’s what being in a Woody Allen film will do to you, I guess.

George Clooney looked dreamy. Mmmmm…

Honorable mention goes to Patrick Dempsey – love that beautiful man.

The majority of the Desperate Housewives are really aggravating these days (still love Felicity Huffman, but Teri Hatcher certainly pisses me off the most), so I was glad to see that Mary Louise-Parker won the Golden Globe.

Holy boobs batman – did you see Scarlett Johansson’s bosom? She is gorgeous.

Natalie Portman successfully channeled Audrey Hepburn and was a vision on the red carpet.

I was really disappointed that neither Michelle Williams nor Heath Ledger won in their categories for Brokeback Mountain. They were my favorite couple of the night, by far. Oh well, I think Michelle still has a chance for an Oscar, but the critical favorite Philip Seymour Hoffman will certainly trump Ledger again come March.

The most random shot of the night had to be Melanie Griffith and Heath Ledger talking during a commercial break, what in the world could those two have had to say to one another?

Was Ryan Philippe being a sweet adoring husband last night, or did he have ulterior motives for being in every single camera shot of Reese Witherspoon (not to mention jumping out of his seat when she was announced the winner, pushing her forcefully towards the stage) and wildly gesturing to Joaquin Phoenix about winning a bet on his way up to accept his award? Or am I just a cynical bitch? Yea, that’s probably it. I didn’t like Reese’s dress, looked like a Barbie outfit. Major fug.

Steve Carell’s speech was so hilarious, I can’t imagine what it must be like to be married to that man. I was so happy Sandra Oh won for Grey’s Anatomy, totally deserved. I cannot tell enough people about how wonderful that show is.

All in all, the Golden Globes were pretty entertaining, and I really didn’t get bored until the Cecil B. Demile award for Anthony Hopkins. Definitely the most entertaining award show of the season, it’s all downhill from here!

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