I’m feeling very introspective as I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy, like I need to somehow capture in a teeny tiny box every little last moment of this current life before what I feel will be a drastic shift in reality with the upcoming birth of our son or daughter. There will always be a special place in my heart for these last few days of waiting, together as a family, for this child to come into our world and change everything. I am so much more alert to the fact that each little experience could be our last one as “expectant” parents. Next time we go for a walk around Palmer Lake, like we did Friday evening around dusk, after cooking a nice dinner at home, it will be with our child. One of us will need to man the stroller while the other keeps our crazy dog in check. Tonight could very well be the last night we go to bed with Bella rolling around between us begging for tummy rubs and Dan giving my pregnant belly a good night kiss. I just feel so at peace with things these days; we’re moving a little slower, calming down with the preparations and the crazy nesting, and enjoying this time together. We took an hour long walk through the neighborhood Sunday evening, breathing in the cool air, talking about the future, and even though there’s definitely anticipation building, I think we’re both focused on just being patient, knowing that at this point it’s just a matter of days or weeks, and that our baby will come join us when he or she is good and ready.
I have to admit, the fact that I could go into labor at any moment is a little scary, it’s something I have never done before, something I have no control over, and there’s no question that it will be difficult, both physically and mentally. But I do trust my body and its ability to do what so many other women have done before me, I trust my husband who has done so much to prepare for his role during the birthing process, and I trust each of the three midwives whom could be the woman to help us bring this baby into the world.
If I go past my due date, I know it will be hard to stay this patient, this trusting of letting nature take its course, but that is the mindset I hope to keep. Thankful. Appreciative. Hopeful. At peace and trusting in God and ourselves.