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Monday, December 20, 2004

Knock on wood

This weekend just reminded me of how much I absolutely love D., and how ridiculously happy I am in my life with him. Nothing specific actually happened to remind me of this, it was really just a dreamy feeling of happiness throughout the entire weekend. We had several of those moments where everything in the world just seemed perfect and life felt absolutely blissful. I would look at him, and just think, "God, I just love this man". I really love sleeping in on the weekends, and groggily snuggling up to his warmth, smelling his yummy man-smell, kissing his very kissable back and shoulders, entangling my legs with his. He's just so delicious, there's no other way to describe it.

So in other news, it's our first actual Christmas together as a married couple, and up until we started talking about how we were going to split up the family time, everything was going just dandy! We had put up our Christmas tree, wrapped hoards of presents, hung our stockings, lit cinnamon scented candles, and all seemed perfect. D. and I had actually come up with a very reasonable way to manage spending time with both of our families over the holiday; the trouble actually started the moment we tried to discuss our plans with my mom. My mom is the type of person who will not give you a straight answer about anything, instead she does her patented passive aggressive thing. Rather than talking it over with me calmly and telling me how she feels, she ignores me, walks out of the room, and continues to make snippy comments until she drives me so crazy that I'm sneaking off to another room to cry, listening to my dad doing his best to convince her to be rational about the whole thing. (My dad is my hero, I'm such a daddy's girl!) I realize now that she's actually just really sad, and is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that she has to share me with another family, (it doesn't help that her two sons are both away at college now for 9 months out of the year, leaving her wondering what in the world she's supposed to do with herself now that she's pretty much finished raising her children), but she's making it really difficult on D. and I who are just trying to make everyone happy. I realize now that this silly notion of making everyone happy is actually impossible, and we were kidding ourselves thinking we could do it. Hopefully we'll have all of this down pat next year.

I decided I needed to knock on wood after re-reading my first paragraph where I talked about my blissful and perfect married life. Just wanted to state that for the record because I am idiotically superstitious about that sort of thing, and have this voice in the back of my head that is constantly reminding me that actually acknowledging your happiness and calling your life perfect is just the sort of thing that people do the day before they're run over by a bus or something. Ok, I have to stop doing that, knocking on wood again.

1 comment:

twenty something said...

I knew your first paragraph sounded too perfect :)