His or mine?

He's been doing it since he was an infant, using my hair as his lovey, clutching it while nursing, falling asleep with it between his fingers.  Then he became a toddler who climbed into my lap, clutching my bun with one arm and drinking his milk in the other when he needed comfort.

Now he's three, and he still wants the hair, still uses it for comfort, still leans into my shoulder clutching it as we read bedtime stories every night.  The only thing that has really changed is that he's much more articulate and specific about his wants.  

When I have my hair in a pony tail he demands that I make it a "big one", a "big ponytail mommy!", which means he wants a messy bun.  Ugh.  Okay dude, whatever.

Lately he has taken to proclaiming it "my ponytail!", and when I correct him, and say no, actually, that's mommy's hair, mommy's ponytail, he shakes his head and laughs.  

"No, it's MY ponytail."

Yup, trying to hold my hair while we attempt a family picture for Christmas cards.

He knows how much power he wields, a tiny little dictator he is, he so fiercely and sincerely believes something attached to my head is his own.

This is all so sweet and funny right?  One of those things that you write down in a kid's baby book so you can remember the details and twenty years from now when he brings home a girl to family dinner you can torture him with embarrassing stories.

Sweet and funny, sure. Also, sometimes (most times) it drives me INSANE.

Tonight I laid with him at bedtime and for a half hour he pulled and twisted and pinched and scraped my scalp with his nails that I JUST clipped this evening after his bath so how in the hell are they still so sharp?

ARGH.  I tell him he's hurting me, he needs to be more gentle.  Still.  He doesn't stop.  

I start manically rustling his own hair, twisting it between my fingers, being genuinely obnoxious.  "This is how it feels buddy, it is annoying and it hurts and we're both trying to sleep so you NEED TO STOP!"

Five minutes later it's the same story.  So I put a pillow between us and tell him he's no longer allowed to touch my head.  Touch your own hair.  Snuggle your Lightening McQueen pillow pet, for God's sake.  But STOP TOUCHING ME.

Well, that's a little harsh isn't it?

He drives me to my wit's end, to the point where I resemble a petulant child myself.

I'm seriously considering buying him a doll with long blonde hair.  I wonder if that would work?  It's a fine line between "being there" for him, snuggling, providing a means of comfort, and letting him physically abuse me all in the name of getting him to sleep.