Wednesday, November 07, 2012

I am so tired

The excitement of yesterday had me up until midnight last night, glued to the election coverage.    Midnight.  That is so stupid.

Louie is seriously up like every 45 minutes to two hours all night long these days, and that includes during the time between when he first goes down for the night and when I go to bed.  It's ridiculous, but familiar.  Feels like it was just yesterday that it was Gus pulling this crap with the constant night-wakings.

I really don't get it, why do my kids do this stuff, and other kids just... sleep?

I don't know.  I admit I'm firmly in the camp of parents that just prefer to roll with it with the baby sleep "issues", hoping for it to get better on its own.  I'm iffy on the sleep training stuff and probably more than anything else, I'm just too lazy and tired to do anything more than zombie my way out of bed and retrieve my baby, prop myself up with pillows in bed, and nurse him back to sleep.  (Louie doesn't like to nurse side-lying!  Why baby why?!)

Not like the "do nothing" approach really worked with Gus.  He finally started sleeping better sometime between 2 and 3, and still today he doesn't sleep through the night very often.  I can't help but wonder sometimes, is it them or is it us that is the problem?

My saving grace, the thing that gets me through it and helps me convince myself that Louie will outgrow some of this stuff earlier than Gus, is that he can totally put himself to sleep.  Really he does it pretty consistently, with very little fussing, and believe it or not, has never once been rocked to sleep in his ten months of life.  If he's in the mood, he will fall asleep nursing.  If not, then he's arching away from me and practically leaping out of my arms to get into his bed.  No bedtime or nap time snuggles for this baby boy.  

If it wasn't so convenient that he went to bed on his own so well, it would make me sad.  I do love me a good rocking chair baby snuggle session.

Oh well.

He is so lovely though.

They both are.

I hate to complain, truly at this point it's sort of a fact of life, though that doesn't really make it any easier.  It just means I'm more numb to it all.  Someday, we will sleep again, and it will be amaaaaaaazing.  I will never take a full night of sleep for granted again, so long as I live.  


Heather said...

I remember the no-sleep nights all too well. Tory was just like Louie and wouldn't sleep for more than 2 hours at night for the first year of her life. Somehow 12 months hit and she started sleeping consistently and I'm thankful every single day I get more than 6 hours of sleep at night. You'll be there soon enough ... and until then, coffee and numbness.

Andrea Firmani said...

I think it is probably more normal than not. It is always something in the sleep department. Just when you think you have figured it out there is scary wolves lurking in the bedroom closet or a bout of sickness to mess things up with the older ones.
I'm lucky that my baby likes to nurse laying down, this is how we sleep at night. My husband responds to our oldest son when/if he calls out and can often be found sharing his twin bed with him.
I just keep reminding myself that this time is truly short. Plus a 3 shot cappuccino really works wonders ;)

Erin said...

Luke obviously isn't AS bad as Louie, but seriously - the concept of sleeping all night? I can't even imagine it anymore. Luke has slept all night 3 times in his life (as in, the entire night) and even then, of course I didn't sleep all night because I was all "well he'll be up any second" for the last 4 hours. The few nights we've been without the kids I'm positively giddy - GIDDY!!!! at all the sleep I got. And then the next day, it's like I'm on crack I'm so fricking productive and just... happy. Give a new mom a full night of sleep and she could literally move mountains.

Your boys are so beautiful. They both just have the best eyes and Louie, I just wanna SQUEEZE HIS FACE OFF! :) In a good way.

Julia said...

I'm totally in the same camp as you with regards to sleep and the lack of trying to 'fix' it. Just too tired to care at 12, 2, 3, 4, 5 am!!! It will get better...someday.